Soap is not a condiment
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize