Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize