Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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