I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
