i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
