I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize