If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
