Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
