Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
