I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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