I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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