remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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