I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
