A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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