Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
