she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
