Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize