Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
