you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
