Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
