True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
