just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
