i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
