I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
soo... how was my night?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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