how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
