piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my being single is dangerous.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize