I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This house was built for laser tag.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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