You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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