I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
