girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
