i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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