Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
