Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize