I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
