Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize