Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
