new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
