Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
