That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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