Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
