We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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