That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
