even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
