I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
