You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
