Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
