No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
