Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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