And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A bitchslap is in order.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
