nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You are the jesus of drinking
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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