You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
