ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
