Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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