Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
