I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
