Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
