This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
