I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize