I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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