You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
